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Sharing Memories Brings Comfort at Memorial Picnic

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rocks painted for homeland's memorial picnic“My husband used to give me the first wildflower he saw each spring,” remarks a widow from a Homeland Hospice bereavement group. “Some years it was a dandelion.”

Fond memories of a loved one can bring solace and strength during the grieving process. Sharing memories with others helps us understand we are not alone in our journey.

Homeland Hospice provides bereavement support through phone calls, mailings, one-on-one consultations and support groups up to 13 months after the death of a loved one. Support groups offer self-awareness, healing and a sense of community, with individuals entering as strangers and often leaving as friends.

The Homeland Hospice family – including support group members, staff and volunteers – recently gathered to celebrate this special bond at the Homeland Hospice Annual Memorial Picnic in Enola. During the event, support group members each shared what they miss most about their loved ones.

Sisters Patty and Sheryl fondly remember their stepfather, Joe, as a proud veteran and a gentleman. He often spoke about his experiences on a B-52 aircraft during World War II and was a resident of Homeland Center when he died at age 97.

During Joe’s time at Homeland, staff members took him to New Cumberland Army Depot to tour a B-52 aircraft, just like the one he flew. Patty and Sheryl remember Joe’s excitement and happiness during this visit.

“He toured the entire plane and shook hands with everyone there,” Patty said.

Memories like this help sustain the sisters through their grief. They find comfort in sharing their remembrances with others who have similar experiences. Both sisters have participated in Homeland’s six-week bereavement support group program. Sheryl also attends a ladies luncheon held the third Friday of each month at Isaac’s Grill at the West Shore Plaza.

“Looking around the room, I know everyone has a story to tell,” Sheryl said. “It’s comforting to know how much Homeland cares about grieving families.”

At the close of the picnic, Brian Medkeff-Rose, M.Div., M.A., bereavement counselor at Homeland Hospice reminded guests that they are not alone.

“Everyone here has something in common,” Brian said, “We have all lost a loved one and understand the grieving experience.”

Homeland Hospice’s bereavement support program is available to the bereaved of Homeland’s patients as well as anyone in the community who is experiencing grief.

To learn more, please contact Brian Medkeff-Rose at Homeland Hospice at 717-221-7890.

A Career of Compassion

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Brian croppedEmployee Spotlight on Brian Medkeff-Rose

Brian Medkeff-Rose, M.Div., M.A., Bereavement Counselor at Homeland Hospice, found his true calling 26 years ago while attending a spiritual retreat in Washington, D.C.

“I was called to full-time ministry,” Brian says. “That became my career path and I never looked back.”

Brian graduated from the Methodist Theological School in Delaware, Ohio. He was ordained by the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), and obtained his clinical pastoral education from Bethesda Hospital in Ohio, which prepared him to work in acute care, outpatient care and long-term care, as well as elder services, home health and hospice care.

Brian’s clinical pastoral work led him to Harrisburg and, ultimately, to Homeland Hospice.

“Homeland is where I belong,” Brian says. “I value our team approach to care. Social workers, physicians, nurses’ aides, volunteers – we all work together to help those in need.”

As a bereavement and spiritual counselor, Brian often finds that an “out-of-the-box” approach is what helps create a path forward for individuals experiencing loss. Discovering that approach involves truly getting to know the people he supports – and the ways in which their loss is affecting them.

When counseling a husband who lost his wife, for example, Brian learned the man was struggling to bring himself to go grocery shopping and cook meals for his family.

“Preparing meals was a constant reminder of his grief,” Brian says.

Seeking a creative approach to help his client, and others in mourning who are facing similar challenges, Brian collaborated with a dietician at Homeland Hospice to develop a workshop on healthy eating during the grieving process. Participants received cooking ideas for one and tips on preparing meals for children. The workshop was such a success that future sessions are being planned.

While Brian enjoys counseling adults, he holds a special place in his heart for children.

Brian was 15 years old when his mother died. He has a personal appreciation for the care and attention children and teens need – not only after a loved one dies, but before an expected loss as well.

“Homeland offers pre-bereavement counseling especially for children and teens,” Brian says. “For young people, this service can be just as important as grief counseling after the death of a loved one.”

Homeland Hospice’s bereavement support programs are available to the bereaved of Homeland’s patients as well as anyone in the community who is experiencing grief. Group meetings are held on a rotating schedule throughout the year.

If you have questions, please contact Brian Medkeff-Rose at Homeland Hospice at (717) 221-7890.

Creating New Traditions: The First Holiday After the Loss of a Loved One

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red cardinal sitting on a snowy branchYou had always looked forward to experiencing the sounds and scents of the holiday season with family and friends. The traditions you created together decades ago brought you happiness. But after losing a loved one, listening to holiday music, baking cookies and shopping for gifts are much harder to appreciate. The parts of the season you once enjoyed now bring sadness.

“Dealing with grief can be more difficult during the holidays,” says Brian Medkeff-Rose, M.Div, M.A., of Homeland Hospice.

He believes one must avoid the pitfalls of “what if” thinking and learn to celebrate joy in the midst of sorrow while remembering your loved one. Medkeff-Rose recommends exploring changes in traditions and developing meaningful rituals.

“Creating new ways to remember your loved one can be a healthy coping technique when grieving,” Medkeff-Rose says.

 

Ways to Remember Your Loved One

From photo collages to planting a tree, there are many ways to remember your loved one and new traditions to start. Some ideas to consider:

  • Lighting a candle in your loved one’s memory
  • Creating a memory book of photos of your loved one
  • Donating a gift of money or time to those less fortunate in your loved one’s honor
  • Wearing a photo pin of your loved one
  • Starting a memorial scholarship fund in his/her name
  • Writing a poem or story about him/her
  • Visiting a place you both liked to visit
  • Hanging a special ornament on the tree in his/her memory
  • Playing his/her favorite music
  • Making a quilt or pillow from his/her favorite clothes
  • Creating a memory box of items that were special
  • Honoring his/her favorite tradition

Medkeff-Rose emphasizes that what works for some may not work for others since coping with loss is a deeply personal experience.

“Everyone is unique and grieves loss differently and there isn’t a time table,” Medkeff-Rose explains. “You shouldn’t feel guilty if you feel a roller coaster of emotions or laugh and have fun. You can certainly allow yourself to be sad, but it is OK to allow yourself to feel joy.”

Employee Spotlight: Rev. Dann Caldwell

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reverend dann caldwell and his parents, residents of homeland centerBorn and raised in the beautiful Susquehanna Valley, Rev. Dann Caldwell has been a part of the Homeland family since 2013.

“Both of my parents are a part of the Homeland family as well,” Rev. Caldwell says. “Each is receiving care at Homeland Center in uptown Harrisburg.”

As one of Homeland Hospice’s spiritual counselors and chaplains, Rev. Caldwell is a calming presence and offers guidance to patients and families throughout the end-of-life journey. “I am here to offer hope, comfort, and compassion, and to address patients’ questions and concerns, as well as assist them in exploring the legacy they will leave behind.”

Rev. Caldwell is a graduate of Central Dauphin High School, Lycoming College and the Princeton Seminary. “I received my Bachelor of Arts in psychology and sociology from Lycoming and two masters’ degrees from Princeton – Master of Divinity and Master of Theology.”

“Throughout high school and college, family members and friends suggested that I go into ministry,” he recalls.   “These continued confirmations gave me a sense of what my calling in life was to be.  They put me on the course of helping ministries, counseling and chaplaincy.”

Ordained as a United Methodist Minister nearly 30 years ago, Rev. Caldwell has served in several local churches, as well as secular and community agencies as a chaplain.  Additionally, he provided counsel and spiritual direction to those undergoing drug and alcohol treatment.

In Rev. Caldwell’s spare time, he enjoys swimming – and for a special reason.

“I have muscular dystrophy so, when I am in the water, it gives me freedom of movement and buoyancy that I am not able to get on dry land,” he says.  “It is so energizing and refreshing.  I try to swim as much as I can, when I can.”

Rev. Caldwell is also an avid singer.

“Many people don’t know that I have been singing since I was eight years old,” he says. “I was actually paid to sing at that young age by the St. Stephens Episcopal Cathedral Choir in Harrisburg. Singing is a true passion of mine.”

And the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Rev. Caldwell and his mother and father frequently perform together at Homeland Center’s monthly Wednesday morning prayer services. “I received my ear for harmony from my mother. And, the fact I am able to sing with my parents – well it’s making more memories to hold on to,” Rev. Caldwell says.

 

See other News and Events from Homeland At Home

Meet Lisa Fetter and Ruby

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Lisa Fetter and RubyLisa Fetter, a lifelong Dauphin County resident, is a Social Worker for Homeland HomeHealth.

Lisa graduated from La Salle University, where she played Division One Field Hockey, with a bachelor’s degree in social work.  “Go Explorers!”   Lisa also earned a master of social work degree from Millersville University.

She chose her career because she enjoys helping others.  “I have always tried to go above and beyond to help others in need. It is inspiring to help people get on the right path after they had to overcome so many barriers in life.”  Lisa believes that every day in her field is a different learning experience. “It teaches me the true value of life and challenges me in ways that few other careers will.”

“I chose to work at Homeland because I always heard such great things about them. I wanted to work for an employer where I woke up every morning looking forward to going to work. A job that you love gives you motivation to meet your goals and expectations not only for yourself and employer, but most importantly for your patients.”

While Lisa’s responsibilities are geared toward home health, she is being cross-trained for hospice care.  “We are starting a palliative program which allows me, as the social worker, our nurse, and an aid to continue caring for patients who choose to transition to hospice.”

 

That is where Ruby enters the picture.

Lisa has also become a Homeland Hospice volunteer, and is training her dog Ruby, a cava-poo, to become a certified therapy dog for our hospice patients. Ruby, along with Winston, also a cava-poo, and Freya, a collie, are Lisa’s fur children, and this is Lisa’s first experience training a therapy dog.

“Pet therapy or therapy dogs help our palliative and hospice patients cope with their terminal prognosis. Petting an animal has been known to release endorphins in the brain which can help calm someone who is struggling to cope. Spending time with pets can have a positive impact by drawing attention away from pain or problems and focusing it on the animal.”

Homeland has two other pet therapy volunteers, Franklin and Rusty, who travel with their handlers (also hospice volunteers).  Homeland Hospice has been using therapy dogs since its inception nearly a decade ago and will continue this complementary therapy that enhances a patient’s quality of life when it matters most.  Dog is truly man’s best friend.