Returning To the In-Person World

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By Barbara Goll, BS, Community Education Liaison/Nutritionist

The COVID-19 pandemic brought pain, hardship and profound changes in the way we socialize and engage with each other. It made us feel like Bill Murray in the popular 90s movie Groundhog Day, in which his character lives the same day over and over. We unwillingly progressed to a new normal. For some, our pre-pandemic routines seem strange and anxiety creeps in as we now attempt to change our patterns yet again.

seniors enjoying the outdoors together

Isolation and enforced social distancing have affected our ability to interact with others, bringing loneliness to many. Loneliness has a harmful impact on mental and physical health. Research shows loneliness can cause depression, increased risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, a weakened immune system, anxiety and dementia. Addressing loneliness as the pandemic subsides is paramount to well-being.

Receiving the vaccination or having antibodies has given us hope to return to gatherings, travel and other social activities that bring us joy and comfort. But slow and steady is the key to rebuilding our social connections and in-person interactions.

Getting back out into the world may seem overwhelming at first. It’s important to gauge your comfort level to make the healthiest choices for you. Moving too quickly into activities you aren’t comfortable with, or that overwhelm your schedule, could bring on anxiety, panic and trouble sleeping.

The Power of Resilience

Psychologists define the word resilience as “the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress.” A recent study by the Gerontological Society of America revealed older adults (70 years and older) showed more resilience in facing life’s challenges during the COVID-19 pandemic compared to younger counterparts. This age group may be uniquely able to cope given the life experiences and coping mechanisms that they learned over time. They have more emotional intelligence, personal fortitude, and resilience.

The study also found that age and emotional well-being tend to increase together even as mental acuity and physical health may diminish. Compared with young adults, people 50 and older score consistently more positive emotions, independent of income or education. This isn’t their first rodeo. Older adults have been through tough times before. They are survivors!

Ease Back into the Swing of Things

Before rushing off to experience a new, more hopeful, period of the COVID-19 pandemic, it’s important to assess our personal feelings and what we feel comfortable with today.

Below are tips to help navigate a return to in-person activities:

  1. Go easy on yourself. Welcome emotions of all kinds while being compassionate to yourself. All of your feelings are valid. Do not compare yourselves to others, or how they think you should feel, or how you think you should feel. We all recover and adjust at our own pace. After missing our in-person gatherings for so long, we may not be feeling overly excited inside about getting together again. There is no right or wrong. Do not add pressure to yourself by believing that you should feel a certain way.
  2. Be mindful. Start on a slow journey to joy. Perhaps try a mindful walk in a park where you feel at peace, visit a painting that brings you joy, listen to your favorite music or eat outside at your favorite restaurant. Mindfulness allows you to savor life and focus on immediate surroundings and needs and not the unknown future or past.
  3. Recognize your feelings. Feelings of fear and sadness are there for a reason – the world has gone through a real trauma. We have been on edge for so long and anxiety needs to subside slowly. Reactions of guilt, resentment, excitement and loss are normal. Time is needed to heal. Watch your pace. You may be more exhausted than you think by stimulation you have not had for over a year.
  4. Understand we’ve changed. For many of us, interests and priorities have changed. We may take up new interests and leave others behind. It’s completely normal for things that used to bring joy to feel less satisfying or different. Perhaps you’ve been dreaming of returning to your favorite restaurant only to go there and feel like you prefer to be at home. Or perhaps you are eager to travel, but the idea of getting on a plane is overwhelming. Don’t be afraid to say no to things you are not yet comfortable doing. Listen to and speak respectfully to family and friends about what is reasonable and comfortable for travel and gatherings.
  5. Realize self-indulgence is not overindulgence. A little pampering is vital for your well-being and for those around you. It can help you ease back into life. Many people have found comfort in classic TV shows that bring us back to a simpler time such as M*A*S*H, Happy Days, Andy Griffith and Lawrence Welk. Others have found comfort in simple pleasures such as premium chocolate (sales rose 21% during the pandemic!) or athletic leisurewear.
  6. Minimize risk with lifestyle choices. The pandemic has taught us that being young doesn’t guarantee your health. Having two or more health concerns greatly increased your risk for fatal infection. Lifestyle choices matter. Take care to exercise regularly (in consultation with your physician), make healthy food choices, practice method to reduce stress, get proper sleep and make time for social interaction.
  7. Technology is your friend. COVID-19 has increased adoption of online activities such as banking, grocery ordering, telehealth, shopping and connecting virtually with family and friends. Many of these things will remain in our lives as we continue to digitize and enjoy the convenience these online amenities provide.
  8. Get Back to Nature. Spending time in nature can help you appreciate the world and boost your mood. Getting outside provides a positive perspective on nature’s beauty. If going outside isn’t possible, bring the outdoors in by watching nature videos or opening a window to listen to the soothing sounds of nature.

Returning to in-person activities won’t look the same or feel the same to any two people – and that’s okay. Think positive and, in time, you will get there! And remember, you are not alone on this journey. If you find yourself struggling to get back in in-person life, seek guidance from a trusted family member, friend or professional.

Superheroes and Friends: Nurses Find Calling in Helping Others

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superheroes wear scrubs

There are careers and then there are callings. For nurses at Homeland entering the profession is not based on earning potential or job benefits; it is founded on a passion to help others. From caring for residents at Homeland Center to home visits, nurses have a unique and extraordinary opportunity to change a patient’s life and be by their side to assist with their health care needs. Through their time together, nurses form friendships and unshakable bonds with patients and their families.

Two of Homeland’s outstanding and compassionate nurses include Hannah Miller and Cathy Whiteside, who serve hospice patients and their families. Their personal story’s of human connection through their work mirror those of Homeland’ impressive nursing staff.

Hannah Miller, BSN, RN has been a nurse with Homeland Hospice for more than four years. Homeland Hospice is a hospice program that serves communities throughout Central Pennsylvania. Prior to working for Homeland, Hannah was an intensive care nurse (ICU). Her time with patients was limited, and she found herself drawn to those she couldn’t save. When her patients were facing their final days, she wanted to be by their side.

“I realized I had a calling for end-of-life care,” Hannah says. “Becoming a hospice nurse is the most rewarding decision of my life.”

hannah miller, homeland hospice nurseFor hospice nurses like Hannah, every day starts with a routine of scheduled visits but plans easily change based on the health challenges of patients. Finding the balance between these two important priorities keeps each day different than the one before and allows nurses to be there for patients and their families when help is needed most.

“I get to know my patients through my work,” Hannah adds. “By knowing their interests and personalities, I strive to bring them peace at the end.”

In December, Hannah was caring for an elderly gentleman in his final days of life. Because of COVID-19 safety protocols, his extended family was unable to be by his side. Hannah helped arrange for his friends and family to sing Christmas carols outside of his window. With his limited mobility, he managed a small smile and whispered “thank you” to Hannah. The patient died that night.

“I’ll never forget that precious moment,” Hannah says. “I believe he changed my life far more than I could ever change his.”

After years of working in the field as a nurse, Cathy Whiteside, RN, BSN, recently moved in the role of assistant director of clinical services for Homeland Hospice. In this role, she supervises the nursing staff, helps with training and fills in when needed with patients. Through her nursing tenure, she has seen first-hand the demand for nurses increase to keep pace with the aging demographic of the region.

“The need for nurses has never been greater,” Cathy says. “This demand is an opportunity for people to enter a rewarding career.”

Like Hannah, Cathy fondly remembers the relationships she formed during her many years working with patients. As a native of Harrisburg, she often personally knew her patients from her church or neighborhood.

“My presence brought my patients an added level of comfort,” Cathy adds. “It was a privilege to care for them in their final days.”

The past year has challenged nurses everywhere as social distancing measures prevented many family members from comforting their dying loved ones. The Homeland team acted with added creativity and compassion to fill the void many patients faced.

“I am so proud of my fellow nurses at Homeland,” Hannah says. “They have done an amazing job caring for patients and one another.”

To learn more, please contact Homeland Hospice at (717) 221-7890.

The Tea Light Candle

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This article is reposted with permission. We thank Gabrielle Elise Jimenez, hospice nurse, end-of-life doula, and conscious dying educator, for sharing her experiences at thehospiceheart.net blog._______________

hospice heart - the tea light

If you could relive just one moment in your life, what would it be? This is one of the questions from the Death Deck and was asked recently at a game night. My immediate reaction was to relive moments that brought me joy, of which there are many. But much to my surprise, my answer went to a place that caused me to react emotionally… and has hovered over me for days.

About twenty years ago, I drove my dad home the morning after Thanksgiving dinner. He asked if I could stay for lunch, but I told him I had other plans. On my way home I started to feel guilty, thinking I should have said, “yes”. I left a message for him that afternoon, offering to come the next day, but no response. The next morning, I left another message, but no response. That night I was called to the hospital where he died shortly after my arrival. He had been ill for several years and had taken a turn for the worse after I left him that day. He did not recover. About a week later, our family gathered in his room to clean out his things. I saw the light on his answering machine blinking. I pushed “play” and listened to the messages I had left, the ones he had never heard. And I cried.

So, as I was pondering the question on game night… I went past the beautiful memories I would like to relive again and instead went to the day my father asked me if I would stay for lunch. I said out loud, that if given that opportunity again, I would have said, “yes.”

This has weighed heavy on me for several years, but that night, during game night, it rose to the surface in a way I was not prepared for. As the words came out of my mouth, I felt relief. It didn’t matter that I said it in front of people I have never met before. It didn’t occur or matter to me, what they might think. I was not worried about judgement or ridicule, because I felt safe. And when I said those words, I felt free and I felt light, because the weight had finally left my shoulders.

I have spoken with many people who never had the chance to say goodbye, who never got to have last words, or resolve issues, or make amends. Death is final and many times it comes before we’ve had the chance to say the things.

I find comfort in ritual and ceremony, and it is in these moments where I offer the suggestion of the tea light candle. I encourage them to light a tea light candle, place it on a flat and safe surface, and as the flame burns, to say the things… all the things. When the flame goes out, the message has been received.

Today I lit a tea light candle, and I told my dad how truly sorry I was that I didn’t stay that day. Before the candle had even burned halfway through, it blew out. I giggled a little, wondering if he had been hanging around waiting for me to say something. But after a while, what I realized was… he wanted me to let that weight go… he too thought I had carried it far longer than I should have. This brought me comfort.

Whether you light a tea light candle, write a letter you never send, or whisper in the wind apologies, forgiveness, or goodbye… let it go. The weight of carrying things that happened long ago, that you cannot change, can be heavy and can distract you from moving forward. You are only human; we can all list a million things we wish we could have said or done differently. Let it go… Be kind to yourself, and find a way to stop carrying this weight. In my case, I lit a tea light candle… and the weight feels a whole lot less. xo

 

A Spotlight on Homeland Hospice Volunteers

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homeland volunteer and cat lover kathy louisIn every aspect of its work, Homeland Hospice brings a team approach to care. Volunteers are an essential part of this group. Through their unique talents and open hearts, Homeland Hospice volunteers bring friendship and kindness to patients during their end-of-life journey and comfort to families who have lost loved ones. Homeland is grateful to all of its volunteers and recognizes their extraordinary efforts.

Last November, Kathy Louis of Tower City became a hospice volunteer through VolunteerMatch, an online service that connects individuals with causes and organizations. Kathy loves working with people and has past experiences working with elderly individuals, making Homeland a perfect fit for her interests. Homeland Hospice is a nonprofit hospice program that serves communities throughout Central Pennsylvania.

For the past several months, Kathy has visited a gentleman in his early 90s. The two quickly sparked up a friendship through their shared love of animals. Kathy helps rescue cats and brought several along for visits. Many of the cats enjoyed crawling on the man’s lap, allowing him to pet them. Kathy’s client often forgets her name, but never forgets the name of the cats.

“He calls me the cat lady,” Kathy says. “I’m pleased the cats have brought him so much joy.”

In addition to the feline visits, Kathy learned her client once owned a garage. She found a book focusing on old gas stations in the region and shared it with him. The book brought back fond memories for the gentleman who recognized many of the images in the book.

“We love talking about old times,” Kathy adds. “I enjoy hearing about his experiences.”

Recently, Kathy’s client entered a nursing facility to recuperate from a fall. As COVID-19 restrictions begin to ease, Kathy hopes to visit him in the nursing home to reconnect on a regular basis.

For many hospice patients, a visit from a volunteer is like a visit from a friend. Doctors, nurses and aids must ask their patients about their health and medications, but a volunteer just listens without any expectations or requests. Illness can be isolating and volunteers provide much-needed personal connections.

Since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, Laurie Murry, volunteer coordinator for Homeland Hospice, has found creative ways to connect volunteers with patients. Last year, Laurie created a card campaign through VolunteerMatch. People were asked to create cards and write uplifting messages to hospice patients. To date, thousands of cards have been sent from across the country.

In addition to the card campaign, volunteers have submitted personal art creations, which will be framed and shared with patients to brighten up their living space.

“From personal time with a patient to a friendly note, every act of caring helps patients feel important,” Laurie adds. “I’m humbled by the compassion of our volunteers.”

For more information about Homeland Hospice and volunteer opportunities, call (717) 221-7890.

Qualities a Caregiver Should Possess

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By Barbara Goll, BS, Community Education Liaison/Nutritionist

Caregiver in a medical mask with a senior woman

Whether you are looking for full-time care, part-time care or occasional respite care, choosing someone to look after your loved one is a stressful process.

It goes without saying that you want someone who can manage the details of the job — like cooking, cleaning, and keeping medications organized. But caregiving is so much more than a list of household and helpful tasks. It’s also an important interpersonal role that demands many developed personality traits.

Locating that special caregiver who possesses the qualities that would be best to care for your loved one can take some effort. A valuable caregiver will have the necessary training, along with the ability to earn the respect of your loved one being cared for.

A quality caregiver is:

  • Able to manage situations assertively and take directions gracefully
  • Reliable and trustworthy
  • Emotionally stable with even temperament
  • A problem-solver who comes up with timely solutions
  • Flexible and able to adjust to meet the needs and wishes of the client
  • A good communicator who communicates verbally and non-verbally in a clear and simple manor, exhibiting care and interest in the client
  • Professional at all times and focused on the needs of the client
  • In good health and is physically able to perform work involved
  • Is passionate about their job and providing the best quality of life for clients with dignity and respect, helping them to live each day as fully as possible
  • Radiates happiness, optimism and joy
  • Able to maintain a sense of humor through challenging times
  • Patient during times of frustration, stress and anger
  • Calm and reassuring in both tone and actions
  • Empathetic and able to consider a client’s perspective as independence declines
  • Creative in helping clients feel self-worth and emotional well-being
  • Able to stay composed during all types of tasks, offering a gift of dignity clients

A caregiver will leave a lasting impact on the client as well as the family members. Take the time to find the quality caregiver your loved one deserves.

As Maya Angelou put it, “At the end of the day, I’ve learned that people may forget what you said, they may forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.”